For the one that I want

I hate this feeling
I want you to validate me
I want to be the only one who makes you smile
I'm like a beast in a cage too small when I see you with other girls
I don't even know if I really like you.
Like... seriously?
Is this some kind of sick joke?
Just the idea of being with you
makes my heart flutter,
my face grow warm and flush,
Makes my hands sweaty and clammy...
When you walk into the room
My eyes dart and try to avoid yours
In case it becomes too obvious
That all I want to do is touch you
and talk to you
Give you a piece of my mind
and learn about yours,
your quirks, your fears and dreams
I keep reminding myself that I don't feel anything.
It's just the climate,
the stress I'm under,
the dishes not being done...
anything to stop me from falling for you...

Chirp Chirp Muhfudger

Okay, I can't think of anything to write so have one of my old poems... *runs away*

I hate this feeling
I want you to validate me
I want to be the only one who makes you smile
When I see you with other girls,
Im like a beast in a cage too small
I dont even know if I really like you.
Like, seriously?
Is it just the idea of being with you?
That makes my heart flutter,
my face grow warm and flushed?
That makes my hands sweaty and clammy?
When you walk into the room
my eyes dart and try to avoid you
in case it becomes too obvious
that all I want to do is touch you
and talk to you.
Give you a piece of my mind
and learn about yours
your quirks, your fears and dreams
I keep reminding myself that I dont feel anything
It's just the climate
The change in temperature
The stress Im under
the dishes not being done..
anything to stop me from falling for you.


DancingPotatotes

Opinions about Opinions

I grew up in a Christian household and although at this time of my life, I really don't know whether I can call myself a Christian... What I do know, is I believe in Jesus and all he lived and died for. I don't know much more than that and although I struggle every damn day to be a good person and not let myself become the Scar in my story, I try, well I know that I should act in love in all that I do.

I hate that I can't be a "Christian" without people giving me shitty looks because of all the other "Christians" that we've heard about, those ones that spread hate and ignorance in the name of "Jesus" and I'm sorry that people feel abused by Christians (and all other self-righteous religious-or-not people) but I will say that one of the reasons I became depressed and angry when I was younger (I guess you could say I was a little more religious back then) was when I realised some of God's rules and how unfair it all was and I just didn't think it was right. I'm still trying to work out my shit with the Big Guy and I always ask, "WHY WHY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT/DO THAT" But the truth is I will never know until I die and all we really have is speculation and the Bible. I guess this is why faith is such a huge thing for religions..

For me, any argument is invalid, LOVE will always come first for me. I guess this was one of the main reasons I was okay with homosexuality. I think that loving someone (regardless of gender) trumps hating another human being any day. With all the hate, bullying and shit that happens today, can't we just be happy that 2 people can find love in this life?? It's hard for me because my parents don't like it at all... After all, they grew up back in the day but I still love them even though their rants get on my nerves all the time.

Maybe this doesnt make me a Christian at all. I remember when I came across some verses in the bible about how immoral homosexuality was and all I felt was a huge sinking feeling in my stomach... I just don't understand anymore. I just know that I really do believe in Jesus even though it doesnt make any sense. Jesus loved those who were hated, he helped those who needed help. I guess that's all I want and believe I should do.

I wish people would stop throwing 'homophobe' around as well. I know it's 2013 and we should all stop being so conservative in our way of thinking, but hating on someone because they have different ideals to you is just a waste of time. I'm not making excuses for other people, but some were grown up with different values, I hate how some people think it's okay to shove their views down peoples' throats and calling them all sorts of names. Apparently if you have an opinion different to someone else, you should just 'kill yourself'. People claim we should embrace change but they cannot accept that people will have different views. You can't fight ignorance with ignorance. If you disagree with someone and you retaliate by belittling them and swearing, then your argument is invalid.

Rant=Over

A Tendency For Bad Romances

You should know, I have never read or watched the Twilight books. Yes, I am one of those judgy assholes who hate on things because people I admire also hate those things. Sometimes, however, you should know that I have my own opinions. Well actually, I watched either the 3rd or 4th movie because I was going in for free but that's it. I actually quite enjoyed it. I started reading Twilight 2 months ago but only got up to the part after sparkly dude saved emotionless chick from being crushed by the truck... Also I knew I wouldn't keep reading after the scene in the biology class when he acts real douchey with her (a scene which I have also watched from that movie and ASDFGHJKWER HOW DAMN AWKWARD WAS THAT?! AMIRIGHT?!... I stopped reading because I couldn't bring myself to trudge on. Hey, at least I tried aye? Aaanyways, my point being, there's a trend with all these books and movies 'promoting' unhealthy relationships like where the guy/girl treats the other like shit (usually reason being because they looove them and are doing it to 'protect' them) which makes the other half want them even more... And I have to admit, even I thought that was a little alluring. Of course, angry sex scenes are the best (Did I just say that?) And don't even get me started on some huuuuge Tumblr ships... Apparently treating someone like shit garbage for 5 years (or whatever) means you are totally in love with them (Merthur anyone?)... But then again, the world sucks and now I'm thinking of Love The Way You Lie lyrics...

*stares into the distance for a few minutes*

So the point of all this, sorry, my thoughts are stars I cannot fathom into constellations, was that I came across a poem I wrote eons ago when I had a crush on this dude and when I read it I was like *nervously laughing* umm, okaaay then... I sound like a crazy, stalkerish, psychotic bitch, geez I have my dark moments sometimes...
Anyways, here it is for your laughing pleasure...

*FYI Oh and fuck those unhealthy relationships. You should be with someone who loves you (and treats you like they love you) and you love back... Damn it , you crazy girls, learn to love yourself, you deserve the best!!

My Unhealthy Poem About My Crush...

You make me feel like a raw emotion

I am hatred and love

twisted and torn into a rope

I would wear you like a fucking crown

proudly, painfully

so beautiful, yet so weighty

Never have i felt this way before

I can't even begin to describe how you really make me feel

I feel like shit

I feel like the luckiest girl in the world

I hate you then i love you

I love you then i hate you

I want to kill you in your sleep 

I want to cater to your every need

Make you feel like the luckiest guy in the world

Treat you like the asshole you are

I can't even remember falling for you

What is life?

Just kill me already

I don't wanna live life without you

But I'd rather live in a world without you

You are a paradox

My paradox

**Hmm that was very choppy... Like I said previously, I am very obsessive passionate about things... *running away now* Also, I do not approve of this piece of work... *running away for real now*